Email exchange with a State Trooper

My god, since 1994 I been wondering if someone else had an onset of this disease like me.  In 1994 I was a 27 year old very hard working, and popular state trooper in ..........  I was the highest drunk writer in my station etc. and had the world by the tail.  A great wife, a great job, and rarely a sick day in my life.  I got this head cold that had me very foggy when I was waking up, took sick several days, then one day I woke up and it was all gone.  About a month or two later, I got another head cold same thing, got this foggyness, just wouldnt go away, went to half a dozen doctors and specialists, couldnt find anything wrong.  I drank tons of coffee and painkillers, sleeping pills you name it, for the last 10 years, to try and keep working, have burned over 1200 sick hours, God knows how much comp and vacation to disguise this debilititating disease.  However, I am at the point where I can't do it anymore, I have become so weak and tired, and so many think Im just faking to take so much time off.  I was diagnosed at the Mayo Clinic with chronic fatigue syndrome, and tried to get disability recently.  I was denied disability, as my state does not honor disability for people they obviously think are faking.  So I am forced to continue working in this state of living death, fortunately there are days when I have to do very little as I transferred into a more country station.  I also continue to get worse, its been 11 years for me now.  Acupuncture herbs, thousands of dollars to naturophaths, pills, tests you name it.  To be quite honest I have prayed for my own death of late, I would not commit suicide for I couldn't do that to my family and I still have a bit of Christianity left in me.  I'm just to the point where I am boxed in, seems like there is no cure for this shit.  I did get some relief from acupuncture and herbs, but it only lasted a few weeks, did you get that too?  Then I went back more and more, took higher doses of this ground deer antler stuff that she was giving me, but it never worked again.  Nothing else has ever worked again, I haven't had a good day in years.  I just can't understand why they cannot find at least some test to show we have a real disease.  While the Mayo clinic doctor said that's what I have, he has no proof, no blood test, nothing that the State will accept and I am truly doomed.  I still tell my co-workers I have a sleep disorder, seems to go down better that way.
Well anyway, it did make me feel better to know someone else out there has this, have you had any improvement?

Your letter was riveting. I am familiar with everything you talk about. I don't know how deeply you have gone into my web page but I have added the link again here:

I am far from well, however I have taken my life back. That's a big deal. If you send me your address I will send you my book. There are some things we do not have in common at all but much more that we share. My son is a Marine.

We are full speed ahead on a powerful program to change the mindset of the medical community about CFIDS here in Vermont. It astounds me that we have to begin there, but I didn't make the rules.
rik carlson


Your web page is an oasis in the desert.  I would very much like to read your book and can pay you if you like.  Your just the first person I found that reported this coming on with a head cold, going away, then coming back full force with the second head cold and never going away, is it not possible that we have something other then Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? Some new disease?  I always wondered about getting this shortly after the Gulf War and the Gulf War Syndrome, I know it's an extremely long shot, but consider it. (To my knowledge I never came in contact with any vets from that war but who knows, on a traffic stop or something?)  My hat's off to your son, anyone who can make it through Marine camp is one heck of a strong personality and individual!  I hope he stays safe if he ever end's up overseas.

Hi Rik!
I just finished the book!  Thank you very much, and it's amazing how much alike we are.  I too was excited about Wilson's Syndrome, the report on 20/20 about the scraping the spine, hole in back of your skull, etc.  My wife and I also have cats, though the cats are probably a little tighter with me then her, ha.  They are a source of great relaxation, friendship and undemanding companions in this world that demands so much.  Felt bad about the kitten you had that got run over, and know how it feels when one of the cats kills one of the chipmunks or squirrels we are feeding also, arrrg.  Well anyway, fabulous book, and oh yeah, I remember the Al Franken thing too.  Made you wanna take the guy into a dark alley and give him an education, ha!     He's a geek anyway.   Well yes you can post my letter, don't think you need permission anyway if not posting someones name but thanks for asking also.  Not only do people need to know, but I found your book much more comforting to know another human being on this planet has gone through all the same stuff I have.
I honestly thought nobody could have it as bad as me, but reading your book was like reading a diary of myself.  By the way, I have had one of my cats since 1989 since I was a rookie Trooper in ............, since before the dark times.  Don't have any kids, dread the day he won't be around.  Well keep the faith brother, someday we maybe free'd, but I'm inclined to doubt it at this point,,,
Thanks again for the wonderful book!!!


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